its just an idea.
just an expression.
a simple figment of imagination.
this picture describes exactly how I feel.
i feel failed,
i feel abandoned,
i feel like a caged animal,
sedated from the world,
with chains around my wings,
held back,
by my own,
whatever,
life doesn't matter,
basically this is life:
we work hard in high school to get to college,
we work hard in college to get a good job,
we work hard at work to make money,
and then, what happens?
WE DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
what a wonderful cycle of this beautiful life.
its amazing.
how about we skip all that hard work and just die. that sounds a lot more pleasant to me...
i mean honestly...
WHAT IS THE POINT?
to be happy? no, thats not possible, thats only for a select few.
to help others? no, the ones who want to help others are the poorest ones, they suffer the most.
to follow dreams? no, apparently that only happens in disney movies and hollywood.
so then i guess its final, we should all sit around and wait for Jesus to come back.
so i guess all of my creativity will be going to waste,
i am preparing for a life of unhappiness, unless God hits me with this amazing gift and talent and opportunity, thats it.
NO. I CANT WRAP MY MIND AROUND SITTING HERE AND ALLOWING IT.
I FEEL LIKE I AM FAILING MYSELF, GOD, AND BEING A LITTLE WEAK BABY.
I AM A LITTLE WEAK BABY.
I CANT HANDLE ANYTHING.
A STUPID PEOPLE PLEASER.
since when does my opinion matter? it never did, it never was meant to.
I never had a choice, it was just false security and hope. there is no hope.
darkness.
whatever. even now I am worrying over nothing.
SO HERE IS MY PLAN:
I am just going to go to lakewood and wait for Jesus to come back, because frankly, that is all that matters.
God bless you.
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